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Yesterday marked the beginning of June, and the beginning of Pride Month. I’m thrilled that San Marco Church will be recognizing this in several ways throughout the month. It’s an interesting word, pride, and gets used awkwardly so often. A friend of mine recently shared her discomfort saying, “I’m proud of you” when she has little to do with the achievement, and so instead says, “you should be proud of yourself.” I like that. There’s also the seven deadly sins version of pride that rattles around in my head whenever I see the word. (I loved the movie; nothing to be done about it.) I get anxious when “pride” is lifted up, not because it’s more often the ugly kind, but because it can so easily become it. The type of pride defined as “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements” is a slippery slope. That new promotion you worked hard for, the test you rocked, or whatever goal you’ve achieved… Taking pride in that is a good thing, but it can become a problem when your achievement pushes you into arrogance. There is a second definition of pride, though, that I think applies more aptly to June, to Pride Month, and what I believe is meant when the LGBTQIA+ community claims it: “consciousness of one’s own dignity.” Some years ago, a friend of mine celebrated his five-year anniversary with his husband. As we spoke about it, he shared, “this is a big deal. Five years for us is like twenty for you.” I asked him to say more. “Imagine you wake up every day next to the person you love. In that regard, you couldn’t be happier. You never thought you would be so fortunate. But half of your family tells you your marriage is an abomination. People look at you oddly, even with disgust if you show affection for one another in public. Much of the world tells you, repeatedly, that you’re wrong. Wrong to be together. Wrong to love this person. It doesn’t matter how good a relationship is, that takes a toll. It makes it hard.” As I’ve remembered that conversation, I often consider how terrible it must be. The bombardment, demeaning. To have people speak about what they have never experienced; they just know enough to tell you it’s wrong. And speaking of people speaking about what they have never experienced: as a straight and cisgender person I speak from the experience of friends and colleagues that have shared with me. I believe the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves is to allow their story to have the kind of power we usually save for our own, and I’m grateful for the formative neighbors in my life. Through their stories I have some secondhand appreciation for the recurrent experiences of questioning, even challenging the loving, healthy relationships they are committed to. And this, to me, is why Pride Month. A time when we are invited to recognize and celebrate the dignity of our LGBTQIA+ siblings. And for those who are a part, to say it, loud and proud, that you are beautiful. Beloved. Wonderfully created. We should all be reminded, and share with one another, their dignity. And as persons of faith, to name lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, asexual, aromantic, agender persons as beloved children of God. San Marco Church is a reconciling congregation, which simply means we have committed to intentionally create a space that is welcoming to this community. I consider this a faithful response to a need. Where dignity is challenged, where “five years for us is like twenty for you”, we respond by saying, “no. You are welcome here. God loves you. So do we.” We will do so moving forward because we are siblings in Christ, the one who taught, “This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, when you love each other” (John 13.35). And we will do so in particular this Pride Month. I hope you’ll mark your calendars for Sundays June 11 and 25. On the 11th, San Marco Church will participate in the Acosta Bridge Pride March beginning at 7p (click me for more details). And the 25th will be Pride Sunday, when we’ll consider in varying elements of worship how we might live out our faith in ways that profess God’s glory in the beauty and dignity of the LGBTQIA+ community. Rev. Ben Richards
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